I wrote something ages back, about why butches wear cargo pants – basically, I had discovered, for all those extraneous pockets to be used to hold femme accessories when one’s femme girlfriend decides to relinquish the handbag for a bit.
I still don’t understand handbags, but that’s a whole other matter.
Of course cargo pants are useful in their own rights – obviating the need for a handbag/manbag in the first place. Those side pockets are brilliant for us evil smokers too – positioned helpfully on the sides of legs, packets of twenty don’t get squished. Yay.
There’s another use too, but before I reveal it, let me first add what has become an increasingly necessary disclaimer, in the light of threats of litigation by exes. No names or identities shall be revealed and any assumptions made might very well be wrong, so relax, mmkay? And if it was you, get over it. Thank you.
The utilitarian might of the cargo pants pocket comes into play when, for whatever reason, you have to walk between rooms or areas carrying a dildo or three – and you run the risk of perhaps bumping into some nice old dears who don’t need to be confronted by your brightly coloured arsenal of joy.
No problem for the butch wearing those sturdy cargo pants with reinforced seams! Pants hanging acceptably low on your hips, accentuating a good butt, side pockets bagging out a little, because you don’t want to look like a military cadet nerd after all – you can guess the rest. Is that a designer dildo or three lurking in that pocket, or are you just completely thrilled to see me?
No harm done either, if the whole thing causes a pre or post-coital swagger along the way.
Yes, I know that cargo pants come in a femme flavour too – but they tend to be cut differently and their pockets aren’t quite as comfy somehow. I think they’re built to hold lipsticks.