my old same-sex sexuality soapbox

lambdaI’ve said it before, but it bears repeating.

If you’d suffer severe consequences on coming out – don’t. There are people who get raped, beaten, murdered for the crime of being out. If you’re very young and afraid – wait. If you’re one of those privileged middle-class types who don’t come out because it’s inconvenient, you’re a coward and a traitor and you have the blood of the victims of hate crimes on your well-manicured hands. Ditto all those celebs whose careers are far more important to them than broader tolerance and the safety of the community.

pink triangleThere are people who are instantly read as sexual/gender outlaws/outcasts – they have the option of adjusting their physical appearance to hide, though it isn’t always a simple matter, or of living out, proud and free. There are those who look “normal” according to conformist society and those people face different issues. Hiding is easy, but what about visibility? They can be out verbally, they can wear/display symbols of queer (or whatever) pride, they can walk hand in hand with their same sex lovers – no doubt there are other options.

black trianglePeople talk about not wanting to make a big deal out of their sexuality, of wanting simply to be treated as “normal” members of society.

And you know what? When they stop killing us for being queer, we’ll have that luxury. Until then – aluta continua.

Thank you for being out.

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About ulla

queer. antisocial. verbose. View all posts by ulla

12 responses to “my old same-sex sexuality soapbox

  • sroxy

    One of my students asked me last night, “what are we going to do? What CAN we do?”

    I responded, “what if we all came out, every single one of us, all at once, so that the world could see who we really are? What if every soldier, every priest, every soccer mom, and every politician stood up and spoke out?”

    She was stunned. It’s a beautiful possibility, isn’t it?

    • me

      YES! and not just queers – anyone, everyone, all of those who feel like freaks and outsiders. and i bet, regardless of the pressures of heteronormative etc society, there’d be an astonishing number of people shouting out.

  • Amandah

    I completely agree.. I think that would be beautiful. And, nonetheless, it would help a lot of people see further than they’re own arse

  • Amandah

    I think people would need to be completley selfless for that to happen.. And people are only selfless to a certain extent (I know I am), not to mention some aren’t at all.

  • queerfindingsanity

    This thread makes me happy.
    It would be hard not to be shocked and moved by the number of people in the world that probably consider themselves queers/freaks/outsiders.

  • daytodaydreamer

    This was awesome. And needed.

  • me

    all upvoted for making my day :)

  • me

    Exactleh, m00min – thus relating to other closeted moomins and suicides and helping them feel a little less lonely.

  • Roxy

    Btw, it worked. I gave a slightly awkward talk about Coming Out Day in class yesterday (I don’t know why it’s so easy to lecture on math, and so hard to lecture on life.) I encouraged them to tell all their friends and family that they will love and respect them no matter what they like to eat, how they choose to dress, and whom they choose to love, because you never know who might be keeping a secret that’s killing them. A small group of my students came out to each other, including one guy whose family had always called him the “crooked” one (as opposed to straight,) and had pretty much planned to never come out.

    He emailed me this morning to let me know, and that one email makes all my awkward and discomfort worth it.

  • me

    Aw that’s wonderful – I hope things go well for him – and for you too. You’ve taken your fair share of strain for coming out too. I’m so glad to think that there’s at least one teacher out there preaching love to kids.

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