it’s your hell baby, i ain’t going to that party

i commented on a butch blog the other day and it started me thinking a little further than my comments there.

why do perfectly nice, good people turn unkind when there’s a religious issue with homosexuality? and by unkind, i mean an absolute faith/conviction that they are right, leading to utter disregard of us poor queers’ feelings.

*insert shit-eating grin here*

“love the sinner, not the sin.”

never mind if the “sinner” in question is a faithful, perhaps even christian soul, who is kind to old ladies and small animals. all of these things become irrelevant in the do-gooder’s need to impose their opinions.

they smile while they inform you that you’re going to hell unless you change.

they have no respect for science.

they have no space for compassion, unless it falls within their tight little coda and cloaca.


i’m sitting on a beach with my girlfriend in the early 90’s. we’re on towels, in shorts and swimming costumes. my arm is loosely round her shoulders. a very fat and topless man lurches pendulously up and says in very bad english, that “god created adam and eve, not adam and steve.” i say thank you, now please be on your way. he launches into the hellfire speech. i smile like a crocodile and say ok now that’s enough fatso, fuck off. very quietly, very pleasantly.

*fast forward*

if it happened today, i think i would react differently. i think i would simultaneously be more and less tolerant and either ignore him totally or get right to the fuckoff without the pleasantries first. or i’d sit back and let my girlfriend deal with it.

why do people think they have the right?

queers don’t go around en masse trying to get people to change their lifestyles or religions or whatever.

perhaps we should.

hi, i’m ulla and i’d like to talk to you about The Way of Queer … please take a pamphlet …

i’ll launch a massive ad campaign – it will feature gorgeous people doing exciting things and the catchphrase (over suitably shit-eating grins) will be, “… and all because i’m queer!” there will be a jingle and t-shirts. it will be endorsed by celebs and designers and so on. it will, in a word, be hawt. the logo will be unforgettably gorgeous.

i will pace main thoroughfares with a placard saying, “straight roads never get anywhere really, do they?” my girlfriend and i will stride hand in hand into crowded restaurants and tut at heterosexual couples.

people will see therapists and healers to find out why they are straight. they will develop deep self-loathing and very complex neuroses. i will look upon them with a patronizing and pitying compassion, all the while feeling smugly superior.


fuck it must be uncomfortable inside those minds!!

i think it was thumper (of bambi fame) who said, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

*** no right wing fundamentalists were harmed in the making of this blog post ***

About ulla

queer. antisocial. verbose. View all posts by ulla

18 responses to “it’s your hell baby, i ain’t going to that party

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