Category Archives: genderqueer

how do you solve a problem like sex/gender?

“the milk and sugar are over there sir,” says the woman in the coffee shop.
“can you pull your car forward please mama?” says the guy at the petrol station.

(“mama” isn’t just saying that my gender’s been read as female, it’s also saying i’m old enough to be a mother)

those two interactions took place within minutes of each other and i responded the same to both i.e. i didn’t contribute anything gender-related at all. there were times in my twenties, when if a guy called me sir, i’d respond my calling him ma’am. deadpan, straight faced too. now? i just don’t care.

the queer community often feels fragmented to me. there’s a group wanting gender transcended, the demolition of the binary and the introduction of a fluid approach. and there are those who want to transition instead of transcend and those who just want their biological gender affirmed – those people tend to say that the binary is an irrelevant societal construct – but then they define it and cling to it. i’m not saying that’s wrong, i just don’t understand the logic.

and we all talk, think, shout about gender – but nothing much is said about sex. not sex the act, sex as in male/female. if sex is what you are biologically, frankly it needs challenging too. south africa has a higher-than-global rate of intersex births – are we going to keep forcing all those people to one end or the other of the binary? do we need no sex-categories, or a whole lot more? or just a sliding scale? surely caster semenya is merely the tip of the metaphorical iceberg? are society and its sports teams ever going to allow for more than the binary? or less, even?

why is humanity so very willing to accept new technology, but so fiercely averse to society’s own evolution?

my vote goes to defining the biological sex purely biologically – baby smith has a vagina. baby jones has a penis. baby cooper has a vagina and undescended testes. whatever – but without adding “male” or female” to it. then the babies could grow up, wear whatever the fuck they felt like – and get equal pay for whatever job they did. if the penises consistently beat the vaginas at running, they could create separate leagues, but then what about intersexed people? and the whole binary would probably happen all over again..but at least it would give some respite from gender inequality?

nope, i’ve just talked myself round in a complete circle of historical gender formation.

so what’s the answer?

this game was removed, but ffs …

… and these are the people who bothered to do something about it – major props for that.

in a world without labels..


… and we heart genderfork

sir dyke, i presume?

Another weekend over, another Monday looming and here goes another waffling blog entry.

So, I have been reading lots of blogs about gender identity lately.  Perhaps I should just say identity, without tagging it with gender too.  It gets so very confusing.  I’m going to reiterate my own views here, simply for the sake of hearing my own voice (in typeface, at least), which is – I’d prefer a gender continuum to the gender binary.  I don’t give a shit whether you call me sir, ma’am, or, as I’ve frequently encountered, “Are you a man or a woman??” – I just wish people would lose a few preconceptions and that whole rigid binary thing.

Haven’t people noticed that the world is an evolving and surprising sort of a place?  Haven’t Thai ladyboys taught people not to make assumptions about genitals?  Have the black power movement and feminism not taught us to be a bit more tolerant?


I’ve read stuff by butch lesbians who identify as masculine, some who identify and transgender (but not trans man) – basically I have read a whole bunch of stuff by cis women claiming to be just about every gender you could imagine and a good few you’ve never heard of.  I like it.  I like it a lot.  Whatever challenges the mainstream and general perception is alright by me.  Whatever label anyone wants to apply to themselves is worthy of my respect.

I don’t think we need to abolish the binary, just accept that it really isn’t all that there is.  I have also been reading a lot of transgender stuff and finding it fascinating too.  Some people take the “fuck your gender binary” approach and some seem to be journeying very purposefully towards one end of it or the other.

It all gives the academics a lot to talk about anyway.

TRANS – Transgender Life Stories from South Africa

I reviewed the above book here – please have a look, whether or not you’re interested in transgender issues.  It really is an excellent and interesting book.  It contains some personal friends of mine too!  BTW that site’s my very own dot com – and I seem to consistently miss every moneymaking trend in cyberspace – had some adsense on it for a while, but my account was nuked for inappropriate words before I made a cent.  I was going to let the renewal lapse this year, then I made enough paypal cash online posting slowly and painfully on a forum, to renew it.  All content written by me, all interviews written by me.  The Coming Out Stories project there was a 10 000 hits a month wordpress blog originally.  No idea how long I will keep the domain or what to do with it really … then again, I just tried to light my smoke with a flash drive, so wtf do I know anyway.