Category Archives: homophobia

dear queer, i love you ..

because illogical societal stigmas make families forget sometimes, that they love their children and parents and siblings and so on, we queers generally fear coming out, with a dread a lot of people don’t seem to appreciate. in fact, before the terror, it’s society that has caused the fact that we need to come out at all.

we shouldn’t have to.

but we do – or we lurk, fearful in closets not of our own construction.

i was very, extremely (a lot!) touched by a letter roxy wrote, from the viewpoint of the mother of a queer child. it shows a level of love and understanding and basic human compassion that actually, we should all be exercising. it’s the basis of most religions and the better philosophies and part of what allegedly raises us above animals ffs … that letter should get printed out and sent to the world.

now roxy ain’t the mother of a queer child, at least, not right now, i think her “weasels” are a little young to be deciding that. she is, however, both a queer and a mother. She has her own coming out journey and it’s an interesting one. (btw she and her genderqueer lover are happily polyamorous bdsm freaks, so if you go clicking around her blog indiscriminately, i won’t be responsible for any orgasms and/or conniptions you might enjoy/suffer). ;p

i don’t have a huge amount to say on this topic that hasn’t already been said … just … people manage to love murderers … please don’t draw the line at queers?


[desmond tutu and his god have no issue with us, so why should you?]

it’s your hell baby, i ain’t going to that party

i commented on a butch blog the other day and it started me thinking a little further than my comments there.

why do perfectly nice, good people turn unkind when there’s a religious issue with homosexuality? and by unkind, i mean an absolute faith/conviction that they are right, leading to utter disregard of us poor queers’ feelings.

*insert shit-eating grin here*

“love the sinner, not the sin.”

never mind if the “sinner” in question is a faithful, perhaps even christian soul, who is kind to old ladies and small animals. all of these things become irrelevant in the do-gooder’s need to impose their opinions.

they smile while they inform you that you’re going to hell unless you change.

they have no respect for science.

they have no space for compassion, unless it falls within their tight little coda and cloaca.


i’m sitting on a beach with my girlfriend in the early 90’s. we’re on towels, in shorts and swimming costumes. my arm is loosely round her shoulders. a very fat and topless man lurches pendulously up and says in very bad english, that “god created adam and eve, not adam and steve.” i say thank you, now please be on your way. he launches into the hellfire speech. i smile like a crocodile and say ok now that’s enough fatso, fuck off. very quietly, very pleasantly.

*fast forward*

if it happened today, i think i would react differently. i think i would simultaneously be more and less tolerant and either ignore him totally or get right to the fuckoff without the pleasantries first. or i’d sit back and let my girlfriend deal with it.

why do people think they have the right?

queers don’t go around en masse trying to get people to change their lifestyles or religions or whatever.

perhaps we should.

hi, i’m ulla and i’d like to talk to you about The Way of Queer … please take a pamphlet …

i’ll launch a massive ad campaign – it will feature gorgeous people doing exciting things and the catchphrase (over suitably shit-eating grins) will be, “… and all because i’m queer!” there will be a jingle and t-shirts. it will be endorsed by celebs and designers and so on. it will, in a word, be hawt. the logo will be unforgettably gorgeous.

i will pace main thoroughfares with a placard saying, “straight roads never get anywhere really, do they?” my girlfriend and i will stride hand in hand into crowded restaurants and tut at heterosexual couples.

people will see therapists and healers to find out why they are straight. they will develop deep self-loathing and very complex neuroses. i will look upon them with a patronizing and pitying compassion, all the while feeling smugly superior.


fuck it must be uncomfortable inside those minds!!

i think it was thumper (of bambi fame) who said, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

*** no right wing fundamentalists were harmed in the making of this blog post ***

it’s war – pick a side (people are dying here)

All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke)

One thing I get very worked up about, to the point of a fairly insane attack of irritation, is fence-sitters. It’s unjust of me – the world needs people who can see both sides of the proverbial fence after all (but I hope the barbed wire scars their asses). Ahem. If you haven’t realised it by now, let me state openly that I am, in fact, not a very pleasant person.

OK so …

Queers and freaks who want to be accepted by the rest of society … hello, I’m talking to you. I agree that society should be kinder and more tolerant – but it isn’t and it keeps bullying, raping, beating and killing us. If you think hate crimes aren’t happening – get to googling. And I’m saying hate crimes and grouping homophobia with religious and racial intolerance and and and … all of the ways society has chosen to make its opinion known.

If you’re a fan of democracy and society is saying that queers should not exist, then surely society is right?

So we – we the outcasts and our allies – work and revolt in order to change minds and laws and save lives. because it ain’t about getting equal tax breaks for fuck’s sakes, people die!

A gay teenager was decapitated, dismembered, and burned to death in Puerto Rico. The police investigating his murder said he deserved it because of his ‘lifestyle.’ (via Calpernia)

How many stories like that do you need to read to be convinced? The answer is – one’s too many – but oh people, there are so many more. And imagine how many more that we never even hear about.

Homophobia equals apartheid. (Desmond Tutu)

Obviously my gaydar radar is attuned to news of my own community, but let’s get broad again. Intolerance of anyone for any reason is actually bullshit. And if you, as a queer, are not willing to identify with the rest of us queers out here in the firing line – fine. Enjoy your closet. Enjoy the herd and the blood on your hands (yes I know I’ve said that in 3 posts running now). Society won’t change unless you change it. Voices won’t be heard unless they’re strong and part of a united force. Perhaps you’re sitting there thinking things have improved? We live in a world where genocide is constant in the so called 3rd world and where even in the first, teenagers are killing themselves and Jews still aren’t safe. People assume that Muslims are terrorists. And. So. It. Goes. On. Ad nauseam, ad infinitum.

“If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem.”

On a good and positive note – my favourite aunt, Kate Bornstein says it gets better.

my old same-sex sexuality soapbox

lambdaI’ve said it before, but it bears repeating.

If you’d suffer severe consequences on coming out – don’t. There are people who get raped, beaten, murdered for the crime of being out. If you’re very young and afraid – wait. If you’re one of those privileged middle-class types who don’t come out because it’s inconvenient, you’re a coward and a traitor and you have the blood of the victims of hate crimes on your well-manicured hands. Ditto all those celebs whose careers are far more important to them than broader tolerance and the safety of the community.

pink triangleThere are people who are instantly read as sexual/gender outlaws/outcasts – they have the option of adjusting their physical appearance to hide, though it isn’t always a simple matter, or of living out, proud and free. There are those who look “normal” according to conformist society and those people face different issues. Hiding is easy, but what about visibility? They can be out verbally, they can wear/display symbols of queer (or whatever) pride, they can walk hand in hand with their same sex lovers – no doubt there are other options.

black trianglePeople talk about not wanting to make a big deal out of their sexuality, of wanting simply to be treated as “normal” members of society.

And you know what? When they stop killing us for being queer, we’ll have that luxury. Until then – aluta continua.

Thank you for being out.

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