Tag Archives: meme

butch, identity & a little catchup-ketchup

So far the festive season is festering away … I’ve moved house, changed my psych meds … what a brilliant time of year to do it all eh? I’ve also landed a v cool editing contract. What I haven’t done, is hang out online and I ain’t here for long today.

First things first, I need to reblog the following:

Symposium #1: What is Butch? on Butch Lab:

… and I also need to mention that in the process, I stumbled upon Jolie’s very excellent turn of phrase, “identity geeks.” Not only is it uber-cool, it also applies to me like a comfortable pair of ripped and faded jeans. (The ones I wore to East London Pride this year).

So Google has banned ads for the book Queers in History, because of the ooooh-verboten word “queer.” That falls under the ‘sexual content’ no no, although the book is entirely about queer figures in history and in no way about sex. This brings me on to another of my favourite rants i.e. how very, very, incredibly fed up I am of my identity instantly being associated with sex. Sexuality is a far broader matter than the sex act, thankyouverymuch world.

Back to butch … OK, here I need to add the disclaimer, again, that I am in no way trying to diss anyone’s interpretation of it, simply define my own. You google butch, you find a lot of bdsm, masculinity (radical or otherwise) and … butch cock. I hate typing that phrase.

I am not a man, I don’t want to be a man. I don’t even want to be a woman the way most of society defines us, but I am a feminist and so “woman” is what I (re)claim. I’ve said a lot on this subject, so I shall move on …

BDSM. No. I see a whole bunch of bloggers who identify both as butch and as Buddhist also way into bdsm, on a very conscious and analysed level. I would simply like (as little as I like discussing my sex life publicly) to state that I am indeed butch and a (bad) buddhist, but I am not into bdsm – not one bit. And I (we!) have extraordinarily fabulous sex.

That is all.

Beyond butch. I read a cute FAQ which stated, amongst many other things, that the mental health of queers is far better if they are out and open about their identity. It struck me that this is in fact true for all of humankind. If you know who/what/where/why/how you are and stand with a measure of surefootedness on this planet of ours – you’re a pretty well-adjusted specimen. Perhaps, we just don’t know when to be satisfied and content, perhaps many of us (*points to self*) just keep on and on questioning until we’re convinced we can never be happy. But that is a whole other discussion and I am digressing fearsomely.

Being an identity geek, let me claim the following:

Human [it’s not under threat, so not too militant about it]













PTSD person

Speculative fiction fan

Alt.indie music fan

That list could go on forever.

Ima stfu now *grin*

random music shuffle meme


1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on Shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.


4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

5. Put this on your blog.

1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say? everybody hurts [rem]

2. How would you describe yourself? muhammad my friend [tori amos]

3. What do you like in a woman? catching a butterfly [the verve]

4. How do you feel today? uncle june and aunt kiyoti [kristin hersh]

5.What is your life’s purpose? man on the moon [nick cave]

6. What is your motto?  paint the moon [the czars]

7. What do your friends think of you? struck by the sound (audio bullys)

8. What do you think of your parents? driver 8 [rem]

9. What do you think about very often? heresy [nine inch nails]

10. What is 2 + 2? lady [regina spektor]

11. What do you think of your best friend? africa rising [johnny clegg]

12. What do you think of the person you like? precious declaration [collective soul]

13. What is your life story? i am mine [pearl jam]

14. What do you want to be when you grow up? bank robber man [lenny kravitz]

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like? wait for the sun [the doors]

16. What will you dance to at your wedding? how does a duck know [crash test dummies]

17. What will they play at your funeral? no brakes [the bravery]

18. What is your hobby/interest? offend in every way [the white stripes]

19. What is your biggest fear? osama bin laden [rikku latti]

20. What is your biggest secret? interzone [joy division]

21. What do you think of your friends? so real [jeff buckley]

41 trivial questions meme thingy


sheep, post retief road

1. What is the closest item near you that is blue? my eyes <_<

2. What is your favorite color? #666699

3. When is your birthday? next year ;p

4. When did you last go to the mall? monday. we have two [count ’em] malls in the nearest city – my gf calls them mauls. they aren’t very exciting, but like most of their breed, they have too much fake light and too many people and a general air of need and greed and … i don’t like them.

5. When was the last time you bought a pair of pants? could this be the single most boring question ever asked by a meme?

6. What do you want for your birthday? some pants.

7. Who will be your next kiss? the cherrybomber

8. What was the last candy you ate? sally williams macadamia nougat

9. Are you wearing socks right now? ok this makes the pants question seem quite interesting. i’m not wearing socks, i’m barefoot. enthralling!

10. When was the last time you went out of the state? we call them “provinces” in south africa + the one i live in is called the eastern cape. it’s one of 9. and i haven’t been out of it for what feels like ages. last time would have been to cape town i think? eek. don’t know.

11. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? nope – far longer than that, in fact. east london is rather way off “the circuit” and seems to suffer rom-coms etc most of the time.

12. What was the last thing you had to drink? green tea

13. What are you wearing right now? a slightly peevish expression

14. What was your last purchase? a t-shirt for a friend’s birthday

15. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my gf

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? see above

17. Do you have a pet? phrodeaux the 15 yr old very spoiled and loved jack russell terrier

18. What’s the last sporting event you watched? surfing

19. What’s the most played song on your iTunes? right now, full steam ahead by david grey and annie lennox, i seem to have some sort of addiction to it :/

20. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? with her.

21. What is the last thing you purchased online? bought a month’s mmorpg sub for a dutch kid

22. One thing you hate about yourself? one?! i have self-loathing down to a fine art. seriously though? my panic attacks.

23. What’s your favorite soup? tomato. out of a can.

24. Do you miss anyone? my gf.

25. Last play you saw? man to man at the grahamstown festival – one woman play starring antoinette kellerman + the best play i have ever seen anywhere.

26. What are your plans for the day? walk dogs on beach, work, fetch neighbour’s daughter from airport.

27. Last person you messaged? gf.

28. What do you know about the future? nothing..nobody does, it’s all just “educated” guesses

29. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? not right now, i only add it for going out.

30. Where are your best friends located? she’s at work in the city right now.

31. How old do you want to be when you have kids? i’m 40 and don’t have any.

32. Who was the last person who made you cry? me?

33. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? pierced ears, nose, brow – none worn for many years now. tats: gecko on right shoulder, eland at base of spine, moon left forearm and star on right calf.

34. How do you like your soda? not hooked on it – coke or fanta on a v hot day.

35. Do you like hot sauce? yes.

36. Next time you’ll take a shower? saturday morning. i usually bath ;p

37. What was the last movie you watched at home? national treasure

38. What is your mood? low-grade anxiety, nothing major.

39. What kind of car do you drive? anything anyone lets me – i don’t own a car.

40. Have you ever been to Virginia? no, i’ve met her though.

41. What are you doing right now? finishing this meme

Day 3 – How old were you when you knew? What was that like for you?

I’m not sure. I know I wondered about it occasionally as a kid, because I was always falling for lovely women, but I have no idea how old I was. In a way, it was just always there somewhere as a concept, but one without stress or angst attached. Apart from having an older stepbrother who was gay and a mother who seemed very liberal to me, I had other stuff to think about. Books. Music. Sexual abuse. Horses. Stuff. I was telling my gf the other day though, how when I had decided to go overseas – to go to London from South Africa – that I sat one day (in a parrot aviary, as it happens) and made a long list over several pages of a notebook, of all the things I wanted to see, do and resolve overseas. And “am I a lesbian?” was a very significant inclusion on that list …

Once again, here’s the link to the original meme.

Day 1 – Your sexual orientation or gender identity.

Very late on the 30-day bandwagon…more of an outrider..or merely a straggler, perchance..anyway, I started thinking that perhaps I should write on this blog occasionally again – so I went in search of a prompt or thirty.

…and that’s how far I got.  Clicking the image will swoosh you off to the home of the meme.

Day 1 – Your sexual orientation or gender identity.

What the hell, I shall admit to both. Being an old fashioned modernist, I tend to link the two i.e. I am a woman who likes to *censored* other women woman and thus I consider myself a lesbian. I’m not challenging anyone else’s liberated postmodern definitions and identities, but mine are still very simple. I do not consider that this makes me a superior being. For that, I rely on my remarkable good looks. I’m so retro that despite being a feminist, I spell woman, “woman” and while I never deny being a lesbian, from a semantic/attitude position, “dyke” is what I like to be dubbed.