Tag Archives: ptsd

the sporadically unbearable loneliness of being human

emaux? who moi?

i think i should clarify..i woke up the other day feeling lonely and alienated and this was pretty much the first thing i did. after a cigarette. i might come over as incredibly emo and in need of a shrink – and some days i am, but the thing is, a) i have one and b) this is the stuff i really feel the need (and i feel it hard) to express – i wanna be heard..we all do. but i’m not permanently morbid – i have been known to crack a crooked grin from time to time ;p

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panic attack


badly drawn depression


overtly covert

there are times when my own blogs piss me off and i start deleting stuff – or even the whole blog.  it generally happens either when i feel i’ve said too much and left myself a bit raw, or when someone’s been an asshole on my blog and reminded me that the “masses” i.e. the v few people who kindly bother to read me, are sometimes a tad malevolent.

thing is, i love blogging, been doing it for ages and i find it helpful, sociable, therapeutic, inspirational … and shit like that.  and i like THIS blog.  i have some really great old friends who read and comment and some way cool new connections too.

and there’s stuff i want to talk about that i don’t want used against me, because it hurts and it’s happened before and i jest doesn’t like it ..

so i am joining the wise/paranoid ranks who sometimes publish password protected posts.  if you want the password, email me at: spr [dot] serious [at] gmail [dot] com

or not ;)